$13.90

So aside from being wanted in the state of Delaware for non-payment of a toll, today could have gone a lot worse.

I awoke early. Or at least I tried to. My plan was to leave for Philadelphia at the crack of noon, arrive at 3, and practice for 6 hours until Bill got back.

What actually happened:

I went to the post office, mailed some CDs (more on that later), and tried to get some cash back for my trip, only to be told that the card had been declined. Um, okay, I had enough money in there on Wednesday, I don't know what could have possibly gone wrong... maybe I entered my pin wrong? Oh wait...

Comcast.

So, I butt-pirated some internet and checked my account, and to my shock and dismay (though to no actual surprise) read the tiny number that would come to hover over the day like a soggy tank top: $13.90.

Yes, Dear Reader, I have $13.90 in the world. And since most ATMs (at least those along Interstate 95 North in Delaware) have $20 minimum withdrawals, I effectively have no money. None. Zip. Nada. Nothin'. I spent an hour with my credit card companies, trying to figure out a way to transfer money to my checking account, but since I'd cut up all the cards I was pretty much out of luck. I had nowhere to go and no cash to get there.

So why, you ask, am I trying to drive to Alexandria Bay, NY on $13.90? What am I doing in Philadelphia? And why does a man with $13.90 have so many CDs in the back of his car?

Well, they are interrelated questions. I am heading to the Ragtime-Jasstime Festival in Alex Bay, NY, where I am one of the featured performers this weekend, and I am heading there with my shiny new amazing levitating CD: "Tricky Fingers." You can find sound samples and ordering information here: http://www.rivermontrecords.com, or you can just send money and I will come to your house and play for you. Add more money and I will show a little leg (you can't afford to see a lot of leg).

I have 180 CDs in my car, roughly $2,700 worth, and if I don't sell all of them, I can't afford to drive home. Jess and I will not be eating for the next two weeks. My car insurance will lapse. The washing machine repair man will not come. Did I mention the whole not eating thing? Jess has $103.79 in the world. With our money combined, we can't buy groceries for the week. It's a shame we can't eat the apartment decorations. Anyone want to buy a curtain rod?

So, finally there is something at stake. Finally the sustainment of Martinhood is on the line, and the only way to live, nay, the only way to SURVIVE is to whore these CDs like it's nobody's business. But, even with my new criminal record, I'm not depressed. I'm camped out on Bill's couch in Philadelphia, where I've come to practice the piano and head up to Rochester tomorrow to see Tony Caramia. The air is not too cold, Bill fed me, we listened to some great music... I am still alive. I can't go back to Delaware, but who wants to, anyway. And I still have you, for some reason I haven't entirely figured out. So, we're just going to keep on Martin-ing and see what happens. I'm not dead yet, and that means anything can still happen!

Will check in tomorrow with pictures. I can already tell this trip is a drama queen.

Your,
Martin