A Blog By Any Other Name

So I'm renaming the blog.

I've been conducting tireless research, Googling "what to name your blog" and reading through pages for at least for at least five minutes before copying-and-pasting (what I do for a LIVING, people) into this blog.

The first guidelines I found:

1. Determine How Important the Name Really Is (well, I wouldn't be wasti... er, devoting a whole post to it if it wasn't important)
2. Stand Out (From what? The 14 billion other angsty overwritten blogs that exist on Blogger alone? How? Who do I have to kill?)
3. Avoid Generic Surnames (Martin's Blog of Stuff)
4. Avoid Descriptive Names (Martin's Blog of Interesting Stuff)
5. Avoid Acronyms (MBOIS... which sounds like "mmm... boys" which, I'm not sure, might have just gotten me arrested and thrown in the cell with Urinating Man)
6. Avoid Faux Latin (Martinus Blogimus)
7. Avoid Faux Latin (Cont’d): -nt Names (I don't know what this means)
8. Avoid Spaceless Names (i.e. ThingsI'llProbablyRegretMakingPublicSomeday [shamelessly plucked from the corpse of PITS])
9. Avoid “Tech Power Synergy” Names ("Outside-the-Box Paradigm-Shifting Blog of Increased Productivity")
10. Find Examples to Emulate (i.e. pillage like a butt pirate)

Or perhaps instead of trying so hard, I can just "Inventify" a word here:

invent-a-word

My favorite is Avanon+nonexistence=Avanonexistence.

This blog suggests some steps:

Step 1: Without thinking too much, write down every idea that comes to mind. You could even get a friend to brainstorm with you.

Step 2: Once you have a few names, look them up on Google to make sure they’re unique. If you’re thinking about registering a domain name (either now or eventually), be sure to see this video tutorial on Trademark Law and Your Blog Domain Name.

Step 3: Next, research your competition. How can you distinguish your blog from those similar to yours? If you find a blog named “Bob’s Lemonade”, you should probably cross “Fred’s Lemonade” off your list (oh my god I am naming my blog "Martin's Lemonade").

Step 4: Consider ways to improve the names you’ve thought of. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms for lengthy or vague words — maybe you’ll discover a way to incorporate alliteration or rhyme.

Step 5: Once you’ve narrowed down your choices, let them simmer in the back of your mind while you do something else. Take another look at your names after a few hours (or days or weeks — whatever works for you). By then, you’ll probably have no problem making your final decision.

So I guess it is time to simmer. Dave suggested "Soothmancer," which is excellently inventified, but in my mind implies that I have some clue as to what is going on most of the time so I don't think I can use it. I can't resort to movie quotes (That's No Moon.... It's a Blog Station!). I feel like the name should use MY name in some way (just the "Martin" part). Something like "Martin Nonetheless" or "Martin, Actually." Maybe I could steal from a recent post and call it "In a Cloud of Unknowing." That is so pretentious it just might work.

Hm. I could be at this for awhile. Better sleep on it.

Sleep tight, Dear Reader.

Martin