Suddenly I See

Hi.

So, in 8 hours, I start my new job at Apple. I'm working seasonal at the Shadyside store, just like I did out at South Hills Village last year.

Honestly, my biggest fear is waking up on time. You'd think I'd be nervous about, you know, the actual job. Nope. You'd like a pink 4GB iPod nano for your daughter? That'll be $199. I'm up on my iPods - I spent an hour last night studying them, their specs, which ones come with docks and which comes with cables only, etc... I doubt they'll put me anywhere near someone looking for a computer (save my sister, who is coming in tomorrow to buy a gift for her husband... too bad I won't get credit for the sale, as I'm not in the system). It'll be really good to see Anna. I'm there from 10-6, and maybe she'll come late enough that we can catch dinner together. Anna is the kind of person who, after talking to her about anything, you feel more capable of actually dealing with whatever it was. She is great in the way stories are great - intangible, universal, magical. Be jealous that she is my sister.

I'm nervous. It's why I'm still up. I actually crawled into bed an hour ago, but I had the inclination to find out a little about tomorrow and had the good fortune of finding my Tarot cards on Saturday (I had lovingly lost them to a box in the closet in the solarium (with the candlestick?), and so I pulled them out along with my "Tarot for Dummies" book, shuffled, and dealt out destiny.

I cannot tell you the joy I get from these cards. If there was empirical evidence for Jung's idea of the collective unconscious, these would be it. I delight in just the imagery - the colors and the shapes, whimsical names like "The Fool" and "The Tower" - experiencing the magic and the fantasy of my insides. I don't believe the cards have any real power in and of themselves, any more than this keyboard has, anyways. Their power is in my reaction, the way they can stimulate my subconscious (do you ever wonder if people a hundred years from now are going to read about our belief in a "subconscious" and react to it the same way we do to people who pray to the moon?). At the very least they give me a little peace, which is more than anyone could ever ask of a superstition and, according to my gut, tomorrow is going to go okay.

Short entry tonight. I'm going to try and sleep and wake up on time. Let's get that far, and then I can worry about the Hanged Man reversed...

-m